-A-
AIDS - Aquired Immune
Deficiency Syndrome. The disease that develops from having HIV. This is
where the immune system starts to fail and often very simple infections
become life-threatening because the immune system is highly compromised.
Medication exists to help combat the symptoms, but sometimes the side-effects
can be as bad as AIDS itself. No cure yet. (see HIV)
Ally - A heterosexual person who is gay-friendly. This person accepts
gay people and often advocates for them.
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-B-
Baby Dyke - a young
lesbian, especially one who dresses in a butch manner
; not derogatory when used by other lesbians
Barebacking - sexual intercourse without protection, ie., the use
of a condom, particularly in anal sex. This practice is EXTREMELY risky
and un-advised because of the high probability of infection with HIV
or other STDs.
Bath / Bathhouse - a club for men interested in having sex with other
men that usually has a pool, jacuzzi, and/or sauna
Bear - a hairy gay man, particularly one that is large (chubby)
Beard - a woman who is married to a man who is closeted. Implies that
the man knowingly married the woman to pass for being hetereosexual and
that the woman is unaware that her husband has any homosexual inclinations.
Being Outed - to be exposed by another party as being homosexual,
usually without consent from the "outed" person. (As a point
of etiquette, if you know somebody is gay, do not talk about this to other
people without having received express persmission from the gay person.)
(related: Out)
Bi-curious - to explore, either physically and/or mentally, the viability
and enjoyment of same-sex relations, usually with the outcome of determining
if one is homosexual
Bi-sexual - a person who is attracted mutually to members of the same
and opposite sex
Bottom- the person in anal sex who is penetrated; the receiver;
2. the submissive in the relationship or sexual play (syn. catcher)
(see Top)
Boy - 1. a younger gay man; 2.the younger of a gay male couple, especially
with significant age differences; 3.an attitude of submissiveness in a
gay male couple by one partner (see Daddy). This term does not
imply or connote any family relationship.
Breeder - a derogatory word for hetereosexuals
Bull Dyke - a term referring to a masculine appearing lesbian, especially
a large woman. Often derogatory (related: Butch, Lipstick Lesbian)
Butch - masculine appearing and sounding, appropriate for men or women
(see Femme)
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-C-
Camp - flamboyance or
"over the top." Camp is extravagance, especially in humor or
appearance, often used in association with drag queens.
Catcher - the receiver in anal sex; the person that is penetrated
(syn. bottom) (see Pitcher)
Chicken - a young gay man, usually pre- or very early 20's (related:
Twink)
Chicken Hawk - an older gay man who is interested and seeks relationships
primarily with young gay men (see Chicken). Negative connotation
for the implication of predation by the older man
Closet /Closeted / In the Closet- a person who has not disclosed their
homosexuality to others. Some people can be "in the closet"
in different environments (at work, but not with friends, for example)
or they may not have disclosed to anybody. Can also indicate somebody
who is not honest with themselves about their homosexual inclinations.
(see Out)
Commitment Ceremony - the formal celebration or process through which
same-sex couples can express their status as life partners. Since same-sex
marriage is not recognized in the U.S., this is a symbolic gesture for
couple who want to announce their love and lasting relationship to others.
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-D-
Daddy - 1. an older
gay man; 2.the older of a gay male couple, especially with significant
age differences; 3. the dominant person in a gay male coupling (see
Boy). This term does not imply or connote any family relationship.
Drag - dressing in clothing one does not usually wear, especially
clothing of the opposite sex. (Sometimes also used to indicate non-preferred
clothing "work drag" or "straight drag")
Drag King - a woman, usually a lesbian, who dresses in men's clothing
and entertains
Drag Queen - a man, usually a gay man, who dresses in women's clothing
and makeup and entertains. Drag queens often enjoy celebrity status in
gay communities or cities. Some drag queens sing, some lip sync to music,
and many perform comedy (usually very ribald and risque). Drag performances
are often referred to as camp or being campy.
Drama Queen- a gay male who inflates the seriousness of a situation,
usually consistently making a bigger deal out of things than should be;
implies self-centeredness; negative connotation
Dyke - slang for a lesbian, usually derogatory (always if used by
without knowing if the lesbian is ok with the term)
Dykon - an entertainer revered by the lesbian community. Complete
the following: Madonna is to gay men as ______ is to lesbians. (Yes, the
answer is Madonna). (also see: Melissa Etheridge, Dixie Chicks, Indigo
Girls, Gina Gershon, and anyone that uses "womyn")
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-F-
Fag - derogatory slang
for a gay male, short for faggot
Fag Hag - a straight female who enjoys the company of gay men; the
term in mildly derogatory in that it often carries the implication that
the female in question is unhealthily attracted to the unattainable gay
man she accompanies and/or that her schedule revolves around her gay male's
activities.
Fag Stag - a very recent term that has developed around a new phenomenon
of straight men who enjoy frequent company with gay men
Family - slang used by homosexuals to identify other homosexuals (example:
"Disney sure employs a lot of family.")
Femme - having feminine characteristics or demeanor, used for men
and women (related: Butch)
Flaming /Flame - term used to indicate a flamboyant gay man; a gay
man who exhibits stereotypical characteristics, particularly when they
are exgaggerated; can be used negatively
Friend of Dorothy – slang for gay. Refers to Judy Garland's
following among many gay men. Often seen as F.O.D.
Fruit Fly - another term for fag hag (to me slightly less offensive
and a significantly more clever)
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-G-
Gay - the more commonly
used word for homosexual, pervasively used to refer to homosexual men,
but can apply to women too. (Although because it is so closely associated
with men, most homosexual women prefer lesbian. "Gay" certainly
isn't as inclusive anymore as it once was.) (See Homosexual, Lesbian)
Gay Bashing - assaulting, particularly physically (but also verbally),
non-heterosexuals, selected for attack because of their sexual orientation.
Homophobia at its worst. One frequent tactic used is to lure gay
men by posing as a possible sexual interest and then isolating the victim
at a location where other bashers are waiting to attack. (As
an aside, I think that most gay bashers are probablly deep in the closet
themselves and are so scared of being gay, they take their self-hatred
out on an innocent. ) (see Homophobia)
Gaydar - the "ability" to know if somebody is gay enough,
used primarily as a joke ("How fine-tuned is your gaydar?")
Gender Dysphoria - (this is very complex, but simply put) not relating
to one's own sex; the phrase "a man trapped in a woman's body"
is a simple understanding of this issue. A person with gender dysphoria
feels that their gender (a social identity) is different from their sex
(physical characteristics)
Gender Identity - the gender a person relates to regardless of their
sex. Male and Female are sex identification - they related to physical
characteristics. Gender is male or female, which are societal constructs
of behavior. A man may have a female or feminine gender identity (or relate
as a male) for instance.
GLAAD - Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. A media-watchdog
group that tries to make sure gay people and images are represented in
media and that those images are fair and accurate. website
GLBT - an acronym meaning "Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered."
A phrase used to be inclusive of various sexual orientations and identities.
More current versions sometimes add a "Q" to the end to represent
"questioning" or "queer" or both
GLSEN - Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network. A national network
of parents, students, and educators working on GLBT issues in elementary
and secondary education
schools. website
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-H-
Hasbian - see Anne Heche
Heterosexism - the belief that heterosexuality is superior to other
sexual orientations; or that it should be preferred and/or given special
legal rights and privilege and/or social status
Heterosexual Privilege - advantages, both known and unknown, that
hetereosexuals benefit from because of their inclusion in a majority group
(for example, hetereosexuals don't have to worry about being fired from
their job because of their sexual orientation)
HIV - Human Immunodeficiency Virus. The virus that causes AIDS. Having
HIV does not instantly cause AIDS to develop - that can happen years later.
Currently no cure, although medicines do exist to help (see AIDS)
Homophobia - 1. anti-homosexual thoughts and feelings; 2. the belief
that hetereosexuality is superior to homosexuality; 3. the active or pasive
oppression of gay people. More on homophobia.
Here
also. May lead to gay bashing.
Homosexual - a person who is emotionally and/or physically attracted
primarily to members of the same sex. The Kinsey Scale is the widest recognized
"measure" of homosexuality - putting it on a sliding scale from
0 (fully heterosexual) to 6 (fully homosexual). Where do you fall? Some
people dislike this term because of its clinical nature and sound - I
find it useful as a descriptor here, but rarely use it day to day ("Why
that's a fine young homosexual over there.")
HRC - Human Rights Campaign. A very active political group that advocates
for GLBT issues, often organizing national political campaigns against
certain bills and laws or endorsing political candidates.. website
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-I-
Internalized Homophobia
- when a homosexual person accepts and believes the societal stereotypes
and negative images and messages about gays. Can result in: poor self-esteem,
self-hatred, staying in the closet, resentment, anxiety, suicidal thoughts,
gay bashing, and the desire to change orientation (and many other
problems).
Intersexed- people born with both set of sexual organs. (A very complex
issue that I can't do justice to with a brief definition). See my link
page for resources on this.
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-L-
Lesbian - a homosexual
female. A woman who is primarily attracted to other women emotionally
and/or sexually. (see Homosexual, Gay)
Lipstick Lesbian - a homosexual female who prefers traditionally feminine
dress styles and makeup usage (related: Femme, Butch)
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-M-
Mary - a form of address
from one gay male to another. Not something you'll hear in every day talk,
you'll hear this more in large gay gatherings particularlly among femme
men. Can be used negatively (usually to denote how femme someone is: "she
is so Mary"), but more often used affectionately. Same as when gay
men refer to each other as "girl" or "her."
(Why do gay men do that you ask? I don't really know. Not everyone does
and I only do it when trying to be super-campy. I suppose primarily
it is a method to form a group identity ("men who call other men
mary" on the next Ricki Lake))
Metrosexual - a recent term developed to describe men who dress fashionably,
use cosmetics, and spend money on hair, nail, and/or spa visits (and who
probably work out at the gym regularly). Implies a breaking of the stereotype
that straight men are slobs and only gay men care about their appearance,
thus giving the appearance that these straight men are homosexual. Can
also be used to describe straight men who copy style and dress trends
popular among gay men (see Aberzombie).
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-N-
Negative - HIV negative
(HIV - ) Does not have HIV or AIDS.
Nellie or Nelly - A derogatory term for a feminine acting gay male.
(Related: Femme, Mary)
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-O-
Orientation - the way
a person is biologically or emotionally programmed to respond to members
of the same and/or opposite gender. I include this term here primarily
because I hate the term "sexual preference" since it denotes
a choice, whereas while I chose to act on my sexual orientation, I did
not choose to be gay (not that I regret my orientation). Most GLBT people
do not make a choice about their emotional wiring.
Out - to be known to others as homosexual or transgendered, particularly
from self-disclosure. People can be out with some groups and not other
(out at school, but not with parents or siblings). (see Being Outed,
Closet)
Outed - having another party disclose your sexual orientation, particularly
without permission (syn Being Outed)
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-P-
Partner - term for significant
other in a gay relationship. Usually the equivalent of "spouse"
particularly if it is life-partner. Some people dislike the term because
sounds like a business relationship
PFLAG - Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. PFLAG helps
GLBT people and their families through education and political advocacy.
They are best known for their support groups and are a fantastic resource
for parents, siblings, and children who are coming out, or considering
coming out. Lots of local chapters. website
Pink Triangle - symbol of gay pride reclaimed by gay activists from
the patches Nazis forced gay men to wear on their clothing. symbols
Pitcher - slang for the penetrator in anal sex; the giver. (syn.
Top) (see Catcher)
Positive - HIV Positive (HIV +). A person infected with HIV.
Post-Op - A person who has completed sex reassignment surgery (post-operative
transsexual)
Pre-Op - A person prior to sex-reassignment surgery, especially if
they are considering such surgery (pre-operative transexual)
Pride - the commemoration of the Stonewall riots and a celebration
of being GLBT. A show of unity and solidarity
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-Q-
Queen - a derogatory
term for a gay male
Queer - a highly debated term that is offensive to some and empowering
to others referring to homosexuals. Some people see it as a homophobic
slur while others feel the gay community should reclaim the term as
a more inclusive label than "gay" (related GLBT)
Questioning - individuals who are unsure of their sexual orientation,
especially when experimenting physically (related GLBT)
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-R-
Rice Queen - a gay man
who persues Asian men primarily
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-S-
Safe Zone - a program
found in educational institutions that help identify allies and resources
that gay students can access. Usually includes some level of training,
a sticker or pin indicating ally status, and a commitment to ending homophobia.
See my queer links for websites dealing with
safe zones.
Sexual Orientation - see Orientation
Significant Other - a person with whom an individual has a long-standed
and highly committed relationship, this term carries more weight than
"boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and goes beyond the physical
limitations of "lover" Often syn. with Partner. Sometimes
used to avoid identifying the sex of the other person in the relationship.
Sodomy - anal or oral sex. Negative. Derived from a misunderstanding
of the Biblical story of Sodom and Gamorrah, cities destroyed for their
wickedness. (for elaboration see my Gay and
Christian page)
STD - Sexually transmitted disease. Any number of diseases and infections
that can be acquired through sexual activity.
Straight - a heterosexual person. Very neutral term.
Stonewall - On June 28, 1969, New York City police attempted a routine
raid on the Stonewall Inn, a working-class gay and lesbian bar in Greenwich
Village. Unexpectedly, the patrons resisted, and the incident escalated
into a riot that continued for several days. Most people look to this
event as the beginning of the American Gay Liberation movement and all
subsequent LGBT movements.
Switch - a person who enjoys both penetrating and being penetrated
in anal sex. This person enjoys being both a Top and a Bottom.
Derives from "Switch Hitter" (see Catcher, Pitcher)
(syn. Versatile) Why are there so many baseball related terms for
gay sex? I guess because it really is America's favorite pasttime.
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-T-
Top - the penetrator
in anal sex. The giver; 2. The dominant role in the relationship or in
sexual play.
(see Bottom) (syn. Pitcher)
Trade - a gay male, particularly a young male, who exchanges sexual
favors for money (a prostitute)
Transsexual - an individual who has a gender identity different from
their physical sexual characteristics. Transsexuals will often dress and
style themselves according to their preferred gender identity. Some choose
hormonal treatment and/or sexual reassignment surgery to help be the person
they see themselves as being (see Gender Dysphoria)
Transvestite - a male, gay or straight, who enjoys wearing women's
clothing. Many transvestites are straight men who simply enjoy the feeling
they get from wearing women's clothing. Transvestites do NOT typically
suffer from gender dysphoria.
Trick - a person with whom you've had a one-time sexual encounter
with (essentially "a one-night stand"). "Tricking"
is the act of searching for a person to only have sex with - this may
involve bringing a "trick bag" which is a toiletry case if you
sleep over after sex is finished.
Twink - a thin, young gay male in their teens or early 20's. A waif.
(related: Chicken)
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-V-
Versatile - the more
common term for Switch. The joke is that versatile actually means
"bottom... (who will top another guy if he can get
topped also.)"
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Gay
Terminology