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Teaching & Learning Center

Rules for Better Writing, Not!

Like many of us in this world, the understanding of and attention to the seemingly millions of rules about grammar and writing have always seemed to elude me. Thus, when I came across these rules for writing, I finally felt a sense of vindication at not having paid more attention to those more serious rules way back when! Hope they help guide your own writing!

1) Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2) Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3) And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4) It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5) Avoid cliches like the plague (they're old hat).

6) Always avoid annoying alliteration.

7) Be more or less specific.

8) Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9) Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10) No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.

11) Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.

12) Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13) Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14) One should never generalize.

15) Comparisons are bad as cliches.

16) Don't use no double negatives.

17) Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18) One-word sentence? Eliminate.

19) Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20) The passive voice is to be avoided.

21) Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22) Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23) Kill exclamation points!!!

24) Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25) Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.

26) Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit when its not needed.

27) As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotation. Tell me what you know."

28) If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29) Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30) Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31) Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32) Who needs rhetorical questions?

33) Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

34) Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.